Finding my way...

The past few months have been an emotional rollercoaster ride. Going through a long drawn out divorce and being promoted to a branch manager heading a 90 crores business branch.

It's taken some getting used to. Having people reporting to you and carrying out your instructions was a very strange feeling at first. Having an entire branch looking up to you for guidance is, quite frankly, a scary proposition.

I realised that I'm responsible for everything that goes on there. I had to face complaining customers. I had to learn to say 'no' to many things. There were even people offering money in return for granting loans. It was a very different experience.

It is challenging. It is punishing.

It is also rewarding.

I realise now that there are so many things I can do for people around me, to help them. Being a branch manager does present opportunities to lend a helping hand to many, though you have to learn to turn down some too. It's all part of the game.

Maybe I'm finally finding my true calling.

Living alone is a tough way to live. Especially because I'm the kind of person who enjoys a good company.

You have to do everything yourself.

But the most valuable lesson I learnt from the whole experience is that, when the situation presents itself, you find the strength within yourself to face it.

I once had a friend who told me "you have no idea how strong you are". I guess I'm beginning to discover that for myself.

Sometimes I think that he was the only person who ever truly understood me. I wonder if things had not got so complicated between us and we had not parted in such less than ideal circumstances, my life would have turned out so differently. It's sad that losing a good friend was the price I had to pay.

But maybe it was for the best. At least I know that he found what he was looking for.

He had warned me never to try to change myself for anyone nor to try to change anyone. But I didn't listen. I tried to change and it turned out to be a disaster.

On the bright side, I rediscovered myself. I finally understood what I wanted. And now I feel free!